A man and a woman sit at a table, both looking stressed. The man holds his head with one hand while the woman rests her chin on her hand. They seem to be reviewing documents and a calculator is placed on the table in front of them.

Understandably, divorce is an emotional process. But if you and your spouse can set aside your accusations and resentments and move forward amicably, you will find both emotional and financial benefits. Read on to discover how mediation can allow you to have a low-conflict divorce and how a seasoned York County, PA divorce mediation attorney at Ilkhanoff & Silverstein can guide you down the right path.

Why is mediation considered a low-conflict divorce method?

Put simply, mediation is a divorce method where you and your spouse can negotiate all your divorce-related issues (i.e., alimony, property division, child custody, child support, etc.) and reach a fair settlement agreement. This negotiation is not done in the courtroom, but instead in the presence of an unbiased third party, which may or may not be a divorce attorney.

That said, mediation tends to be a lower-conflict divorce method than litigation because it is collaborative. Meaning, in mediation, you and your spouse are working together for a mutually-beneficial conclusion that is in everyone’s best interests. Whereas in litigation, you and your spouse are fighting against each other in an attempt to achieve your personal wants and needs.

How can I achieve a low-conflict divorce with mediation?

While mediation is beneficial, this is only the case if you and your spouse can remain amicable. Otherwise, you will have to turn to litigation, which can be an extensive and expensive process. So, to achieve a low-conflict divorce, follow the below tips throughout your mediation:

  • Be accepting: it is obvious that this is not the most ideal situation. However, you must come to terms with it. This will alleviate the anger or denial you may carry with you into your discussions.
  • Be willing to compromise: it is rather likely that you and your spouse will disagree on at least one divorce term. However, you should maintain an open mind and be willing to reach a happy medium.
  • Be in control of your emotions: it is normal to have heightened emotions and to be tempted to act on them. However, you should identify a healthy coping mechanism so that you can remain calm during your discussions.
  • Be mindful of your behavior: it is pointless to try to change something you do not like about your spouse at this time. This will just perpetuate your disagreements in your discussions. So, remember that you can only control your behavior, and do the best that you can to bring the best version of yourself to your discussions.

If you require more advice, or the services of a mediator, contact a competent York County, PA property division attorney today.


If you need legal assistance with personal injury cases, criminal defense matters, family law issues, estate planning law matters, and more, contact Ilkhanoff & Silverstein today.